Modern Advice From a Third Grade Teacher

In a former life when I was young and handsome and following the prescribed Life Checklist, I was married to a lovely young lady. In addition to her primary task of being the perfect spouse, she moonlighted as a third-grade teacher. Then, as now, the schools administered an Achievement Test, to track student growth and to assess teacher performance. And Wifey would admonish her students, starting a week before the test, to Get A Good Night's Sleep so that would perform well on the test (and she would get her performance bonus!).

As I have entered into the vanguard of my adulthood (no snarky comments, please), I have realized how powerful this Sage advice is. As a firefighter, sleep was an interrupted luxury; as a medic, it was a fantasy. Now, in our business, I depend on two skills: creativity and quick, accurate decisions. If there is a problem in business, most likely it's because I screwed up one or both of these skills.  And invariably, my skills were depleted because I had not gotten enough sleep. Plain and simple...

Now you are no doubt aware of the tradition of siestas in some Latin american countries. It's brilliant. Have a lunch, take a nap, and tackle the afternoon and evening with vigor. I love it so much, that I follow it religiously. And insist those around me do as well, or at the very least honour my quiet time. One paradox in this is while making quick decisions is important, few things are so important that they can't wait an hour for me to rest and recharge.

Try it yourself. And dream of the wistful days of school, when you were also young and handsome.

Making Lazy Work For You

I was told once that if you wanted something done quickly, give it to the laziest person you know. The assumption is that the person, being lazy, will find the most efficient way of completing it so they can return to whatever mindless activity they doing.

I am that person. For years, I have proudly considered myself lazy. When working as an engineer back in the day, on the night shift no less, I wrote a computer program that would take the design requirements and produce drawings that were about 95% accurate. All I had to do was tweak the drawings, and voila'! My work was done. For an 8 hour shift, I actually would work about 45 minutes. Then I would sneak out the side door (so I didn't have to clock out), go home for a few hours of sleep, and come back before anyone arrived. In my mind, absolute brilliance. So brilliant, that when I was finally found out, the company bought the computer program from me. (Thank you Square D).

In our own happy venture, once again, I am learning the value of laziness. Utilizing tools like IFTTT, Fiverr, MailChimp and Buffer, we are giving our customers even more value than before, with less time. It's a lazy person's dream. In the coming weeks, we will be testing and rolling out a new feature that will seriously save even more time, and should catapult our new family of products (The 400...You will love it!). If I were willing to set down my margarita, I would get out of the hammock to dance a jig. But that is just too much damn effort.

Outgrowing the Past...

I was cooking dinner tonight (shrimp and basil curry-serious yums) and having a conversation with an old friend. As in 30 years o'friendship. And as can be be expected, we starting cranking up some of the equally old stories from the past. Laughter ensued yet it was almost forced, like we were laughing out of habit's sake. Afterwards I let that marinate in my mind over a glass of vinho verde. And not sadly, I came to the conclusion I had simply outgrown my past.

When I started Signature Tastes almost 10 years ago, I was firefighter literally living in a fire station. To quote Chief Croker, FDNY, "I have no ambition in this world but one, and that is to be a firefighter..". That was me. Even after some initial successes in publishing, I still was shilling that same story, that same dream.

Fast forward to now. I can't remember when I last bunked out (not that I want to, that gear reeks to high heaven). I did cook breakfast for B shift a few months back, but I was either the elder statesman or worse, the outsider...most likely the latter. And that's okay. We grow. And our story, the basis of our narrative changes. I hope to all that is holy that I've done someone memorable since that time; I have, but I'm not in a bragging mood.

Right now, my mind is starting to slowly, perceptibly beginning to focus and be consumed by an idea that started 10 years ago. But instead of tugging on the heart strings with a story of a firefighter who cooks, I am now a best-selling, James Beard-owning author and publisher. Who has outgrown his past. Stay tuned for the big reveal... 

Oops, I did it again...

And with all due respect to Miss Spears, I wish our cautionary tale was as inspiring as her song and dance was back in the day...Granted, I could choose to date myself and reference Whitesnake crooning "Here I Go Again" (God Save Tawny Kitaen), but that could allow for a digression poorly suited to this forum.

Anyhoo...the bad news. We lost one of our biggest clients, in terms of singular revenue. I knew it was coming; our product had aided their growth, and they were paying entirely too much money to us. That has had a trickle down effect on other projects (loss of volume printing discount, loss of best-seller status, etc.). Ugh. But sometimes these little steps are just the thing to shock us out of our apathy, and put a fire in the ass. Boy howdy did it! With some added benefits as well. Allow me...

Signature Tastes was before, a series of cookbooks focusing on restaurant recipes. Lovely. But in stopping to look both at the marketplace, the technology and really, what people want, epiphany struck. We are Place-Based Tastes. We focus on the tastes of an area. Simply put.

So now, we do have recipes for cookbooks. And cocktail recipes. And a television show in production. And food products. And merchandise. Holy S&^%! Why haven't we done this before?!? Because we hadn't been shocked out of our lazy lives. There is a lesson there, for us and life.

Thank you Britney.

Finally getting Obsessed...

A long time, no write...basically, I've been on a serious extended vacation...Mexico, Spain, France, Kenya, Scotland...yes, my life sucks. I really feel your sympathy coming across the lines.

In reality, I've been resting on my laurels, or more accurately, my poison ivy plants. And I'm done. Thanks the gods! Smoke Alarm Media has afforded me a wonderful life style, and I am grateful. But there is more out there, so much more for me to do.

One of my favorite movies from growing up was Masquerade, with Rob Lowe and Meg Tilly. I actually met Rob in Atlanta that summer at the Democratic National Convention, by the way, an event that others remember him for for different reasons. Whatever. I liked him them and like him now (insert a kickass interview with him about this here: Rob Lowe Interview). Be patient, I'm getting to the damn point...

So the premise of the movie is Lowe is captain of Obsession ("she kicked ass to windward"), and is equally obsessed with a wealth, via a comely heiress. And he will stop at nothing to get both, even though it *Spoiler Alert* costs him his life. And he still manages to do the right thing. All things considered, not too shabby.

Well, circumstances in me life have conspired to wake in moi the same Obsession. And realistically, that is what it takes (ask Grant Cardone)...be fucking Obsessed. So after a series of ongoing pivots, we are turning the page on Smoke Alarm Media, recently acquired by 12 Sirens, LLC, and refocusing on our purposes and our goals. The purpose? Be obsessed with the Greatest Pleasure, according to Walter Bagehot, which is Doing What People Say You Cannot Do. For us, it's producing well over 100 books, establishment of a highly profitable real-estate company, and most importantly, showing anyone who cares to listen, that there is a better way to a better life. If you have any questions, email me direct at Steven@12Sirens.com

Cheers! And I will keep you posted on the journey...

Telling a customer "You're Fired"

Having customers is way overrated.  Inevitably, the more customers you have, the more headaches, complaints, and problems you have to deal with. It's a fact of business life.

It really is not worth it.  So, I wholeheartedly recommend firing them all.

But before you trip down that path of financial ruin... I first recommend that you replace them with clients.

Here’s the difference:

Customer: –noun: a person who purchases goods or services from another; buyer; patron.

Client: –noun: a person or group that is under the care, watch, and protection of a professional.

Customers are ordinary.  Every business has customers. But...only professionals have clients.  So be a damned professional!

Your clients should feel as if you are always watching out for their best interest – and you should be.

It means you won’t sell a product/service to a client just because they think it’s the best solution to their problem.  No, remember they are under your care, watch, and protection, so you must advise them on what really is the best product/service based on their “real” problem.

The shift from customers to clients is really about trust.  Getting your customers to transition to clients isn’t difficult, but it takes time.  If you’ve been treating them as customers, then of course they are acting like customers.

So, what can you do?  I’m glad you asked.  There are three steps to help you lead your customers through the transition:

1.) Become Second – remember, it’s about clients, not about you.  Rather like a marriage...your purpose and passion should be to serve your clients.  Remind yourself of this before, during, and after interactions with clients.

2.) Build Trust – put your clients’ true needs first.  Don’t sell them something they don’t need just because you can.  Discover their needs and offer solutions based on those needs.

3.) Begin a Relationship – make the interaction more of a two-way street.  Express sincere interest in your clients and their needs, desires and goals.  Provide them with ideas, tools, resources, products, and services to help them solve their problems and reach their goals.

Now, if you do this right, you will hopefully end up with fewer clients that you ever had customers. But these fewer clients make it easier to take care of their needs, and as a result, they take car of your needs (i.e. revenue!).

“A merchant who approaches business with the idea of serving the public well has nothing to fear from the competition.“ James Cash Penney – Founder of JC Penney (tell that to Ron Johnson).

Making Hay While the Sun Shines...

Growing up in the Deep South, one is keenly aware of the agricultural language bandied about in conversation. "...til the cows come home" or "come home to roost" or my personal favorite "...happier than a dead pig in the sunshine" all bring to mind a bucolic connection to the land.

But the one that is most appropriate, at least now, is "make hay while the sun shines." For farmers, when the hay was dry and there was no forecast for rain, it was everyone to the fields to cut, bale and store hay. If it got wet in the process, the bale would mold, and the cows and horses would either refuse it, or eat it and get sick. Neither was desirable.

For us, here at the bastion of laziness known as Smoke Alarm Media, we have been given a robust crop and a few sunny days. So everyone is scurrying to get things done. It's rather exciting. Interestingly, it hasn't been mentioned to anyone that we need to do this. Something is just stirring in the blood. Packages sent, contracts signed and projects started...the pace is almost frightening. But we are seeing the fruits of the labour, and perhaps a sea change is taking place. Even I am personally forgoing my morning Bloody Mary to spend that time on pressing matters o' business. Don't fear, I am uncorking a lovely Pinot Grigio for lunch...thank you for your concern.

Back to the fields, dear friends...